The Last Marauder Story( &20 explosive Snape tips)
by The Foxlady
Summary: In the Marauder's days, there was one that betrayed all them. Now, the boy that followed them around is stuck with the remaining Marauders into protecting the Boy Who Lived, till them finally get to recognize a very simple fic they had missed...
1. The Look & 20 Exploding snape tips

The Last Marauder Story  
by the Fox.  
Chapter One: The Look.  
  
The snowy winter had came and passed. As the rainy days alternated with blue, frosty mornings, Harry Potter felt his heart   
lift. The winter's nights have been filled with the touch and smell of Voldemort, the Dark Lord shadow, and he had trashed   
each one in nightmares, half memories and half-buried fears. But it was hard to be scared with the apple trees blossoming   
around the school, the laughs and sunny days spent lounging near the lake and even the most stern teachers looking at them   
with smiles.  
But it's there always exceptions, Harry thought with a cringe, as he entered the cold, sunless, dimly lit Potions classroom.   
Snape was not even wearing his usual sneer: he was downright vindicative today, and Harry had the sinking feeling- well,   
certainty- he would be the focus of Snape' anger. He had been the gum in the shoe, the target of every bad temper tantrum   
Snape have had in the last five years: how you can expect the old greasy git to change his favorite hobby, indulgent pleasure   
and happy sport for the sake of righteousness?  
To ask for Snape not to torment Harry is, of course, like to ask for the sun to stop shining.  
  
" Afternoon, class" he said with a casual swipe of his black robes, hovering in the front of the classroom like a giant bat, eyes   
downright scary: he looked so ready to torn something- and knowing Snape, * someone* was even more likely- to pieces that   
Neville, next to Harry, started to tremble so hard his cauldron rattled.  
" Today we would be mixing a Potion of the family of antidotes, a very useful Conservative Potion. This Potion is to be applied   
to perishable things that you want to preserve from aging, or from the destroying action of fire, water and erosion. This Potion   
is not made to preserve a person's beauty and can have very nasty effects in alive things" he ended with a sneer, and turned   
his back to use his wand and start writing the recipe in the blackboard.  
" What, first hand experience?" Ron chuckled in his side. Harry darted a peek, fearing his friend could have been heard, but it   
was no sign of, well, murder in Snape's black back.  
CLAAANG.  
Draco had just like clanged Ron in the head with his cauldron.  
" HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU JERK!" Ron howled.  
Harry buried his head in his hands. Snape was over them before he could do anything more than groan.  
" Where on earth do you think you are, Mr Weasley?!" he said, not raising his voice, but the anger creeping in. Harry would   
have suggested Ron to keep shout, but Ron, of course, had other ideas.  
" MALFOY HIT ME!"  
" And why was that, Mr Malfoy?" Snape suddenly smirked to his favorite student, who, was starting to smirk just like Snape.   
But not as scary, because Draco, no matter how sheer Death-eater-ish genes had, wasn't 1.80, hadn't a reputation darker   
than the devil and, well, generally wasn't Snape.  
" He insulted you, Professor. And being you my Housemaster, I felt the need to retaliate. I'm sorry for the timing, sir. I just   
got very angry" he said, eyes downcast, all sweet baby face pouting. Harry knew Snape wasn't buying it for a second, but it   
wasn't obstacle for him to enjoy it immensely: no doubt Draco would be loved even more dearly after this for the greasy   
bastard.  
" Oh my. What did exactly you say, Weasley?"  
Harry hoped against any hope that Ron had grown a brain in the last minute. But of course, magic exist but isn't so powerful.  
Ron mumbled something. And Draco gently subtitled.  
And then, hell broke loose.  
  
Harry wasn't even complaining for the detention, even if all he did was, aside to be born, to happen to sit between Draco and   
Ron. But fifty points after, an hour of tongue-lashing with Snape- mostly on his part, of course: his sarcasm had the finesse of   
an art and he liked to exercise it as much as he loved to breath- and two hours being acquainted with the sheer enjoyment of   
scalping toads apart, Snape came back and told Ron off. Harry was gathering his belongings and trying to vanish in the   
background as well as he could do without the cloak, hoping dearly to have heard the last of Snape for the day, when he was   
paralyzed with the words he dreaded the most.  
- I haven't told you off, Potter.- he said with his more silky, more menacing voice. Ron gave Harry a look that spoke volumes   
of commiseration and pain, and hurried off.  
Ungrateful git.  
A silence. Harry waited, but Snape looked fairly content to be there, glaring to him down.  
Harry licked his lips.  
- Umm, it's, hmm, all, sir?- he said as softly as he could. But when he dared to peek green eyes to Snape, he almost fell back.   
Snape had a smile, a non-legitimate, true evil smile, the most perverse smile he had seen, dark eyes glistening.  
- Why so unquiet, Potter? A guilty conscience, maybe?- he whispered so softly that Harry had to repress the urge to shudder.   
He blinked, starting to get annoyed. The greasy old git is getting a kick from this, he thought.  
- Not at all, sir.-  
- Very … unlikely.- he said even softly.- So very… unlikely, Mr. Potter. You had been in trouble, in fact being the lord and   
king of it since you came to this school. So, why a succeeding and ascending career of making fools of your teachers and   
breaking rules in a daily basis had been so tragically cut short?-  
Harry opened his mouth and closed it.   
Snape looked like he was waiting for a coming explosion. As it didn't came, he sighed, in mock deception.   
- Scared out of your wits? And the hat said * Gryffindor?*- the relaxed, but acid tone made Harry start to boil. Sending his last   
wills mentally to Ron, he snapped:  
- Can I GO, sir?-  
- No. We're going to the Headmaster's, Potter.- snarled Snape. Harry choked, and watched incredulously as Snape opened   
the door and started to walk. He staggered behind, mouth open in horror.  
- But… sir…-  
- One more word, Potter…- Snape left the words hanging. – Now, you WALK-  
It wasn't a joke. He hurried behind the silky black robes, mind in turmoil, stomach clenched. He would have laughed in other   
occasions, hearing Snape mouthing " Chilly Cherry Cheekie Chops" but now he was wild eyed. What the HELL was Snape   
planning…?  
Snape gestured him bluntly to enter first. He entered into Dumbledore's office, and rose his eyes, half fearing what came. But   
Dumbledore weren't looking at him, but to Severus, and two tall men had rose at his entrace.  
- Thank you for escorting him here, Severus. Have you been discreet, am I sure?-  
Snape nodded, his face full of a dark pleasure, and then of contempt looking both men next to Dumbledore's desk. And Harry   
blinked, his nerves gone so quickly that the replacement with joy almost hurt.  
- SIRIUS!- he hadn't meant to spoke so loud, but when Sirius smiled Harry did something he had never ever did before: he   
jumped to the tall man's arms, who, even with a passing moment of surprise hugged him back with amazing gentleness.  
- Hi, Harry.- he said with a smile.- Received my last letter?-  
- Yes! But you didn't… I mean, you didn't say you would came…- Harry blurted, overjoyed.  
- It wasn't safe to, but I hope is all right.- Sirius said nonchalantly, and smiled again when Harry nodded happily.  
- Why, Harry, aren't you going to say hi to me?- The voice was well known and soft, so soft. Harry turned, and his smile   
changed to even brighten more.  
- Professor Lupin!-  
- It's "Remus", Harry.- Remus Lupin smiled, slightly healthier, slightly younger that last time Harry saw him.- I am very   
pleased to see you well.-   
- I'm happy to see you too, Professor.-  
- Hi, Severus, It's good to see you too.- Lupin's soft words made Harry realize he had forgotten totally about the professor he   
was busy ten minutes ago wishing death and torment. Snape was standing there, the black tunic forming rivulets around him,   
busy staring to Sirius Black with a hate and contempt that could have made a tiger recoil.  
Not Sirius Black, of course. He was smugly staring back, as Snape was something the cat dragged from the nearest sewer.  
- Same to you, Lupin.- Snape crossed his arms, but his gaze didn't vary his glaring work.- What have been doing this, let's say,   
vacant months? Having a howling good time?-  
- Snape…- Sirius growled very much like a dog, but Remus only shook his head, exasperation in the lines of his kind face.  
- Gentlemen.- Dumbledore said quickly, voice smooth but demanding.- That's more than enough.- he softened, and peeked to   
Harry over his half-moon glasses, with something akin a excuse.- I'm sorry, Harry, that this can't be just a visit from your   
godfather and Remus. I'm afraid I've summoned them to talk about something very important, and risky. But I hope you're   
happy to see them, nonetheless.-  
- I supposed…- Harry blinked, and then sighed, defeatedly.- Oh, well. It was too good.-  
- Sorry, Harry.- Sirius said, his hand in his shoulder. Harry sat in chair next to him, but it was calming, anyway, to have him so   
close by. What wasn't more that one could say of Snape's presence standing behind them- in the best of cases.  
- What's this all about?- Remus Lupin asked, voice dripping symphaty for Harry.  
- It's about a Death Eater in Hogwarths, Remus.-  
- Not him?-Sirius used a thumb to point behind not even turning. Harry had to suppress a giggle to the murderous look in   
Snape's face, but Dumbledore eyed Sirius sternly and Sirius crossed his arms and sobered.  
- No, Sirius. But all I got to know it's a teacher.-  
- Grab the DADA guy. They always are, from what I've been informed.- Sirius said automatically.   
Remus looked at him.  
Sirius smiled cluelessly.  
Snape snorted.  
Remus drummed thin fingers in the desk.  
- Not talking about you, Moonie! Don't get sensible with me!-  
Snape laughed so darkly that it sounded like a purr.  
- You laughed like that again, I punch your lights out. It's almost so disgusting as you!-  
- Get serious, Sirius!-  
- But * I'm* Sirius!-  
-…-  
- That joke was OLD when you were five, Black.- Snape sneered.  
Harry, meanwhile, started to think he have just discovered where Dumbledore and MacGonagall's white hairs came. To have   
them three in class, at fifteen… God.  
Maybe I'll be a Quidditch player, or an Auror, but I'll rather sell Uncle's Vernon stuff than being a teacher, thank   
you very much!  
- Gentlemen…-  
They sobered. But Lupin still looked rather offended.  
- I'm afraid it's a teacher we have from long years ago. And from what Severus.- he gestured.- had managed to know, it's a   
very dangerous one. In special now, because he or she had been sent to, specifically, get Harry.-  
Sirius groaned. Harry looked to the ceiling, and sighed.  
- And I have the NEWTS, too.-  
  
BONUS TRACK:  
The twenty things needed for a good game of Exploding Snape.  
20.- Ordering him to bed. (NOT THAT WAY!) (By Alastor Moody)  
19.- Blaming the rat. (He doesn't get the joke) (By Sirius "Mr. Harley" Black)  
18.- Having wife, kids, money, good reputation and a tan from the Bahamas. And having blonde sexy hair, of course. (By   
Lucius Malfoy)  
17.- Being the bad guy, and getting him LOOK like the bad guy. (by Quirrell " I'm not Osama")  
16.- Breathing. (by Neville Longbottom & Trevor the Toad )  
15.-Show him my perfect, muscular, *ahem* SPOTLESS forearms. That's gets him off, dunno why. ( by Sirius Black)   
14.- Trying to eat him. He doesn't get the sexy meaning of it. (Signed Remus " Wolves are Sexier Than Dogs" Lupin &   
Fluffy)  
13.- Gifting him Herbal Shampoo for Xmas ( by Fiona Sprout)  
12.- Boinking Draco Malfoy ( Not that way, you PERVERTS!) (By Alastor " I'm the good cop" Moody)  
11.- Blowing him kisses. Or try to grab his thigh in staff sessions. Or * accidentaly * changing his robes to lurid, sexy   
pink.(Gilderoy Lockhart)  
10.- Stealing his lunch, by name Gryffindors students being tongue-lashed from under his *big* nose. (Contributed by Remus   
Lupin)  
9.- Being smarter than him, and replay to his questions quickly and good. Or to set his favorite robes in fire when he's doing   
counter-courses. He is a cold guy. (By Hermione Granger)  
8.- Calling him" greasy haired git" for seven years straight. (By Sirius Black)  
7.- Getting the girl. (By James Potter)  
6.- Having a nicer, cute nose than him (by Voldemort)  
5.- Receiving more like pocket money from Dad than what he is paid like Potions Master ( by Draco Malfoy)  
4.- Putting a Dr. Filibuster Firework in his toilet, when he's having his quality time with it. (By Fred and George)  
3.- Having a family. I mean, having a LIFE! HAHAHAHA!!(By Ron Weasley)  
2.- Ordering him around, underpaid, and everytime he protests, you say " I have a special mission for you-u!" ( by   
Dumbledore)  
1.- Being Headmistress ( AND better paid!) ( HA! Women rule, Sevvy! Nicnicnicnic!( by Minerva McGonagall)  
0.- Being me. (Harry Potter) 


	2. Joyride & Marital Snape Prospectives

Chapter Two  
Joyride.  
  
They had taken a stroll by the lake, Sirius carefully enveloped in a cloak, Remus Lupin by his side smiling at the walk for the   
place he had to left behind two years ago so abruptly. Harry and the both remaining Marauders wondered a while, and finally   
set under the moving, sweet-smelling shadows of an acacia to sit, the sunset gold.  
- Where have you been, Sirius? The last bird you sent me it was a cockatoo!- Harry spoke happily, still standing, as Sirius   
stretched languorously his long body in the fresh grass.   
- I've been everywhere.- he smiled, and then added with a grin.- And still I'm standing tall.-  
- What?- Harry blinked, but Remus have a laugh, something Harry had never heard him do before.  
- He 's quoting a song, Harry.- Remus smiled, and patted the large rock he was sitting, for Harry to sit beside him.-   
Dumbledore has offered for him to stay in the Castle. I'll rent a tiny room in Hogsmeade, and I'll be near for anything. We'll   
be ready, if anything happens.-  
- And if nothing happens, we'll have time to enjoy together.- Sirius smiled. Harry mirrored the smile, happy, with Remus   
Lupin's hand in his shoulder. And giving into an impulse, he hugged his father's best friend, tightly. Lupin's eyes widened, and   
then softened, as he answered the embrace, Sirius laughing and claiming one for himself.   
They wasn't aware of a dark figure in one of the corridors's windows of the Castle, watching them play…  
  
OH I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT I WAS IN THAT FLY  
AND GOD YOU BETTER CARE OF THOSE THE SWEETEST EYES  
I HEAR MYSELF SWALLOWING THE TEARS I CRY  
I HEAR MYSELF SWALLOWING THE TEARS I CRY  
  
- Discreet, aren't we?- Remus put his hands in his slim hips, trying his best to look stern, standing in the doorway of the   
dungeon rooms Dumbledore gave Sirius to stay and hide. And even if it were the farthest, more discreet and hiding rooms of   
the whole castle, the resounding, ear-splitting music was making dust fall from the roof and scaring any owl far far away.  
  
EVERYTHING IS PIECES OF MY STUPID DREAMS  
EVERYTHING IS PIECES OF MY STUPID DREAMS  
  
- WHAT?- howled Sirius, busy making a sweaty, disheveled, hair-tousled and laughing Harry to spin around as Ron and   
Hermione did their best in the side, meaning Ron shaking himself with enough force to break bones meanwhile Hermione   
moved vaguely in time with the music, her nose in the air.  
- C'on, Moony, old pal, you wouldn't believe it but this boy dances exactly as Lily did! – Sirius was busy mirroring a kangaroo   
now, as Harry moved around with arms up and the brightest smile, even with his lenses clinging to just one ear.  
- Just like my mother? Really?-  
- Yes, she was awful.- Sirius changed the song and closed his eyes, a grin in his face.- You owe me ten bucks, Moony: you   
bet to me and James those Sweden guys wouldn't last, and hey had become better from "The Look".- he grabbed Lupin, and   
pulled him into a dance, laughing.- Gods, I thought I had lost all those old songs, and they're as good as new! It's good to hear   
Per and Marie again, don't you agree, Moony?-  
  
WHEN I GO HEAVEN- HARLEY HARLEY HEAVEN  
IT'S TIME TO TAKE A RIDE ON THAT FREEWAY IN THE SKY  
FLYING HIGH-RIDERS IN THE SKY  
  
Remus Lupin rarely had danced anymore since the night a twelfth-month married James and Lily, Sirius, himself and a young   
Peter had spent dancing and celebrating in a discotheque, the likes of it Sirius and James used to love. He remembered well   
enough, however, how was to dance with a laughing and clumsy Lily, Travoltas-like Sirius and James, and blushing Peter. He   
remembered well enough…  
… Do you Sirius? Did the Dementors stole from you those memories, or you are able still to follow James and yours   
routine dancing "Dangerous" and making Lily and me sick of laughing? Can you still sing " Sweet dreams are made   
of this" with that smoldering, caressing voice of yours?  
God, I used to laugh my head off seeing you mimicking Michael Jackson but then I cried my eyes out everytime I   
heard any of those songs.  
Do you remember too, Sirius, or the Dementors made me the one to carry the unsupportable weight of memories,   
alone, solely me?  
Sirius saw Remus soft gray eyes going cloudy, going sad. He felt the familiar pang he doesn't had anyone to share with   
anymore of seeing those sweet eyes going sad, and giving him a strong pull, he rolled Remus's slight body in his arm, and then   
outstretched it, so quickly Remus yelped and then stood wavering, eyes unfocused.  
- HA! Sirius Black, the outstanding disco King!- he grinned, as Harry and his friends laughed at his antics.- Sirius Black, the   
one and only …-  
-… whore dancer.- the voice was dense and oily, bathed with contempt.- are you aware, Potter, Granger, Weasley, you must   
have been in class five minutes ago?-  
Harry gave a look to Sirius, who scowled, and to Remus, who nodded with his eyes in Snape's black cold ones. They hurried,   
grabbing their bags and vanishing quickly, their running steps resounding in the dungeons's cold floor.  
Snape advanced with his fluid grace and stood next to the still bellowing Muggle-magically enhanced machine Sirius was to   
fond of, and put a discolored, slim finger in the red button.  
- Finite.-  
The music died.  
- I would NOT let you go intimidating Harry like that, Snape!- Sirius growled, striding to the tall black figure.  
- Hogwarths happens to be responsible to give him an education, mind you.- Snape said coldly, eyeing the shoulder-length   
black haired man, his same height, that was glowering at him, still sweaty, dressed in muggle sweatpants and a white t-shirt.-   
And deprived as is Potter of a …- his eyes glinted.- … regular, worthy guardian, we had to have a extra-special eye on the   
boy's behavior, isn't it?-  
Sirius opened the mouth in anger, his eyes firing. Remus tried to intervene, before the tall animagus became murderer, or   
maybe just suicidal, but Sirius spat it first:  
- You just are using a child to sooth your swollen ego, isn't it? You're so envious of James even in death you HAVE to be   
mean to him! Still green of envy, are you? That's so pathetic!-  
Snape looked at him with eyes that promised murder. But with the softer voice he had, he voiced softly:  
- You, unlike everyone, hadn't gone down going to Azkaban. No, Azkaban itself had to go down to you, loud-mouthed   
werewolves-fucker lousy excuse of grandfather. Potter and Lily would be revolted.-  
Sirius's hands made a grab, and Remus had to use superhuman werewolf strength to grab him and halt him off the room. His   
gaze was smoldering too, but Snape leveled his gaze with apparent calm, even as Sirius clawed and cursed at him, till them   
left.  
Snape turned slowly to the machine, where Remus's purchases for Sirius where still in their bags. He slowly touched one, an   
eyebrow quirking quizzically. And slowly pulled it out, to reveal the Muggle CD with a pair of Sweden singers in the cover   
feigning a newspaper.  
He watched it intently, but his eyes were glazed.  
And strangely, his mouth softened.  
Get Out My Way,  
Get Out My Sight  
I Won't Be Walking In Thin Ice To Go Through The Night.   
And he chuckled.  
What Did You Gain From Love?- Don't Ask Me! Oh The Cheapest Thrill…  
  
BONUSTRACK 2  
Marriage Prospectives  
Let us see the marriage prospective of our fave (and only) Potions Master!   
Do you like your man manly, interesting, hard to get and sexy? Get stuffed!  
  
Looks: He's tall, lean, but strong: that's very attractive. Black eyes as tunnels and a silky voice. What's more to ask for? He   
had a hooked nose, so, or you put manly looks and interesting demeanor over classical and conventional beauty or you move   
over. Besides, you know what's said about guys with big noses. ( Appendage comparative sizes, if you didn't catch the hint)   
He's not the traditional pretty boy, nor the usual hunk: but we have the Byronian-esque looks here, a pale guy with strong   
complexion and dark, raven hair. We have to thank for the hair: it has nothing that we can's solve with a good bath, but if he   
were bald… mmn. Same for the teeth: a good dentist and that's all. He is described as moving silkily, what talks about a   
skillful, coordinated body, no a clumsy man here, and talking slowly and richly, so his voice can be a great asset to get his   
hunk- grades up. Maybe the fact he wears black always, and does well with those big teacher's robes can be another good   
point: its obvious he cares about his attitude if not of his appearance. Maybe it signals a sense of rhythm and harmony? Guess.  
  
Smarts: Very clever, and not only in the mixing potions department. He rarely got one pulled over him, he's usually right,   
and his intelligence is flattered some times for the author: he is suggested like a brain to fear, even before we knew he has   
cheated on Voldie and stays alive. If you like a guy with a brain working at 100 %, smart, brilliant and exigent, here's your   
man.  
  
Personality: He's very much controlled, and even polite in a cold way to his most irritating colleagues. With his students he   
can be sarcastic, and mean: that's a dark side in his personality that can make you think before to want to raise children   
with him. But he's a teacher and a very brilliant one as we get to know. He is very exigent with himself, even crueler than to   
the others, and extremely conscious: he seems to have a sense of duty and loyalty, mixed with a great dose of pride. He's   
complex, but that's make the defy interesting. Oh, and he hold grudges like a god.  
  
Skills: He can mix potions, not matter how rare or complicated is: so he's a dead ringer to be great cooker. He usually   
know how to treat children (sternly, of course) so he can be a good parent if your family is infamous for little devils. And   
well, he had even cheated on Voldemort, so have your eyes open, girl, before he starts with the " I am late because I was   
following Potter around"  
  
Competition: The best part. NONE. Well, Sybill Trelawney, Minerva McGonagall and even Hermione Granger have been   
hinted in fanfiction, but – excuse me- maybe I'm not Miss Universe but I can win Sevvie from two old witches and a child   
with a hand. The one worrying competence could be Lily Evans, BUT-alas, she's DEAD.   
  
In-Laws: NONE! He's a great marital prospect, I tell you: no mother in law and no sodding family. What's more to ask?  
  
Economics: You can live in Hogwarths with him, surrounded for house elves to do the job, frankly polishing your nails as he   
teaches- I see him like the classical men with the * housewife theory* He surely doesn't spend much, and gets paid finely,   
being the third-in-command of Dumbledore. Even not counting spy-fees and rests of good old DeathEater days, you can sit   
and let him feed you. But if the money gets tiny, you know exactly where to put a grip on: ( not there, you   
perverts!)convince him that's Bulgarian Beholder Eggs aren't really necessary for his Potion's ingredients stack.  
  
Sex: No doubt he would be as through and careful as he does anything: we have here a intense, fiery man, demanding   
always to be in top, trying new positions, going and going and going and feeding you – and maybe himself- potions to make   
the experience enjoyable. I do not doubt he has his good share of experience so you're safe, dear lady, no matter how   
rough the thing goes. But do not fear the cuddling is forbidden, with the memories he has no doubt that will be days when   
he would be happy being petted and cared for. Sure he would return the favor the days of PMS.   
  
Overall: He is a experienced and worldly guy, with remarkably good taste and a controlled self that suggests a wild unknown   
side hidden. I dare say he wouldn't go for vulgar girls, so you have to be real woman to pet the sneaky little snake ( no pun   
intended), as he is a real man, not a sputtering teenager. And if you get his heart through his veil of anger and resentment,   
surely you'll have a precious and faithful lover. And given how's the book are going, you'll be a widow soon with a full   
camera in Gringotts and a stack of deadly Potions to sell. So either way, you win 


End file.
